Thursday, February 11, 2021

The Sense of Smell

I started getting some mild symptoms of covid last week, like many others here in Moscow... 
It didn’t feel too great for the first few days, and then,  just as I started feeling much better, I overheard a voicenote of my husband’s friend telling him that he lost his sense of smell.

I thought, oh, I forgot about that! How do people even notice? Maybe I lost it too? 

I went to the cabinet and started sniffing everything... and sure enough, I could barely feel the coffee, the cinnamon, the besamim! 
I still doubted myself so I kept checking .. I even burned a paper towel to see if I could smell it.. 😅 
but nothing! 

And when I asked my 4 year old to smell each one, he said “ewwww”..

I couldn’t believe it! 

I tried some more foods and still nothing, or just very very light...

I tried my perfumes and they were also either no smell or off! 

I sprayed some cleaning agent and I could smell it, but then I read that that doesn’t count..

My husband had ordered some desserts along with dinner but when I bit into the eclair and other cakes, they were tasteless! 
I could feel all the textures but nothing more...
They were all completely bland!
Most likely connected to my loss of smell.. 

I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry 😭

Before Sukkos, when I was thinking about the meaning of the loss of smell, it was a completely theoretical interesting idea...

I had read posts of friends discussing how to get their smell back, but it didn’t sound so bad..

But now that I was experiencing it.. 
it actually felt scary!

I didn’t expect this reaction.

I felt desperate to get it back!

I read a post online where someone said “not to make fun” because “nobody could understand it unless it happened to them...”, 
And it felt so validating!

Thank G-d I was so grateful to be feeling good and that there was nothing serious at all!
But this still wasn’t fun...

I felt less “alive”...

The only thing that helped was my husband’s advice not to think about it - that actually worked;) and Baruch Hashem since then, it started coming back to me!🙏

But in the meantime.. 
I’m grateful that I had that new awareness...

That moment of, 
“Wowwwww
It’s awesome!
I don’t think I ever thanked HaShem for my sense of smell,
I never realized how precious and important this sense is,
Just How much we take for granted!

And the moment I realized - 

Who knows how much sharper each of our senses can really be?
Who knows how much richer G-ds beautiful garden really is?
Most likely ALL of our senses are majorly dulled in golus! 
Do we even know how real flowers are meant to smell? 
Do we even know how real fruits and vegetables are meant to taste?
And who knows how many more dimensions are actually possible?!
A sixth sense, a seventh sense, an eighth sense..?

Oh The smells that await us
the tastes that await us
The sights, the sounds - 

Seeing G-dliness, 
hearing G-dliness, 
touching G-dliness, 
tasting G-dliness, 
smelling G-dliness, 
sensing this great world on every level, every layer, every aspect..

Oh how I yearn for the day when G-d will open up our eyes to really see, our ears to really hear, our mouths to really taste, our nose to really smell, our hands to really feel, our minds to really grasp - 

The Divine! 

Oh the delights and pleasures that await us!!!

Maybe this is G-ds way of showing us a tiny hint of what we are missing..

With each extra day that we sit in darkness..

Because how else can we yearn for the flavors and colors that we have never even known?!

Oh G-d,

We are SO excited for what’s coming!
We are so ready for Your Revelation!

Please open up our senses! 🙏

And then I realized, 
Wow! It’s specifically the sense of SMELL that our world is missing above all. 

The prophet Yeshaya says about Moshiach that, "He will smell the fear of G‑d, he won't judge by the sight of his eyes, nor by the hearing of his ears..."
Its specifically His sense of smell that identities Him as Moshiach! 

According to the Zohar, His sense of smell is greater than His attributes of wisdom and understanding. He will be able to judge by His smell alone!

And on some level, 
we will each be able to do the same - 
Thanks to the revelation of the spark of Moshiach which is within each and every one of us! 

We will each gain a new sense of smell that we never even knew.. 
A new spiritual sense,
A heightened connection with our own souls...

And how interesting that our new year “81” spells the Hebrew word אף, which means anger, but which also means “nose”?

Because this is the year when G-ds apparent “anger” will be transformed into the year of scent - 
the year when King Moshiach will be revealed and judge the whole world by smell.. 

When He will go above all wisdom and understanding in issuing His verdict - deciding that we are all worthy of the ultimate good and blessing, of the true and complete Redemption now!!! 🙏

אף...
Even,
Anger,
Nose,
What a strange word...

So many meanings and connotations..
All somehow connected,
Not all so clearly positive...

But who knows, 

Maybe the loss or distortion of our sense of smell is part of the cosmic dissolving and unscrambling of the letters אף into פא. 

תהא שנת פלאות אראנו!

It will be a year of revealed wonders!!

May it be immediately now!!

На прошлой неделе у меня начали появляться легкие симптомы COVID, как и у многих здесь, в Москве...
Первые несколько дней мне было не очень хорошо, а затем, когда я почувствовала себя намного лучше, я услышала голосовое сообщение друга моего мужа, который сказал ему, что он потерял обоняние.
 
Я подумала, ох, я забыла об этом! Как люди вообще это замечают? Может, я тоже потеряла обоняние?
 
Я подошла к шкафу и начала все нюхать... и, конечно же, я почти не чувствовала кофе, корицу, бсамим!
Я все еще сомневалась, поэтому продолжала проверять ... Я даже сожгла бумажное полотенце, чтобы посмотреть, не чувствую ли я его запаха... но ничего!
 
И когда я попросила своего 4-летнетку понюхать, он сказал: «фуууу»…
 
Я не могла поверить в это!
 
Я попробовала еще несколько продуктов и все еще ничего не чувствовала, или просто очень-очень легкий запах...
 
Я попробовала свои духи, и они тоже были без запаха!
 
Я распылила чистящее средство и почувствовала запах, но потом прочитала, что это не считается...
 
Мой муж заказал десерты вместе с ужином, но когда я откусила эклер и другие пирожные, они были безвкусными! Я ощущала все текстуры, но не более того... Все они были совершенно безвкусными!
Скорее всего, это связано с потерей обоняния...
 
Я не была уверен, смеяться мне или плакать…
 
До Суккота, когда я думала о значении потери обоняния, это была совершенно отвлеченная интересная идея... Я читала сообщения друзей, обсуждающих, как вернуть их запах, но это звучало не так уж страшно... Но теперь, когда я это испытала... это действительно было страшно!
 
Я не ожидала такой реакции. Я отчаянно хотела вернуть обоняние!
 
Я прочитал сообщение в Интернете, где кто-то сказал «не смейтесь», потому что «никто не может понять этого, пока это не случится с ними...» В точку!
 
Слава Б-гу, я была так благодарна за то, что чувствую себя хорошо, и что у меня нет ничего серьезного! Но это все равно было не весело... Я чувствовала себя менее «живой»...
 
Единственное, что помогло – это совет мужа не думать об этом – это действительно сработало;) и, с тех пор, Барух Ашем, ощущение начало возвращаться ко мне!
 
А пока... Я благодарна за этот новый опыт...
 
В тот момент, когда я почувствовала: «Ваууууу, как же это здорово!» … Не думаю, что когда-либо благодарил Ашема за обоняние, я никогда не осознавала, насколько драгоценно и важно это чувство… Как много мы воспринимаем как должное!
 
И как только я поняла это…
 
Кто знает, насколько острее может быть каждое из наших чувств?
Кто знает, насколько на самом деле ярче прекрасный сад Б-га?
Скорее всего, ВСЕ наши чувства сильно притуплены галутом!
Знаем ли мы вообще, как должны пахнуть настоящие цветы?
Знаем ли мы вообще, каким должен быть вкус настоящих фруктов и овощей?
И кто знает, сколько еще измерений возможно?!.
Шестое чувство, седьмое чувство, восьмое чувство?..
 
О, запахи, которые нас ждут, вкусы, которые нас ждут, виды, звуки…
 
Видеть Б-жественность,
слышать Б-жественность,
касаться Б-жественности,
ощущать вкус Б-жественности,
чувствовать запах Б-жественности,
ощущать этот огромный мир на каждом уровне, на каждом слое, в каждом аспекте...
 
О, как я мечтаю о том дне, когда Б-г откроет наши глаза, чтобы по-настоящему увидеть, наши уши, чтобы по-настоящему услышать, наши рты, чтобы по-настоящему попробовать, наш нос, чтобы по-настоящему обонять, наши руки, чтобы по-настоящему почувствовать, наши умы, чтобы по-настоящему осознать… Б-жественность!
 
О, какой нас ждет восторг и удовольствие!!!
 
Может быть, это способ Б-га дать нам крошечный намек на то, что мы упускаем... С каждым лишним днем, который мы проводим во тьме.
 
Потому что как еще мы можем тосковать по ароматам и цветам, которых мы даже не знали?!
 
О Б-же, мы ТАК предвкушаем то, что нас ждет!
Мы уже так готовы к Твоему Раскрытию!
 
Пожалуйста, открой наши чувства!
 
И тогда я поняла,
Вау! Ведь именно ОБОНЯНИЕ, это чувство, которого больше всего не хватает нашему миру!
 
Пророк Йешая говорит о Мошиахе, что: «Он будет нюхом чувствовать страх перед Б-гом, он не будет судить зрением своих глаз или слухом своих ушей...» Именно Его обоняние идентифицирует Его как Мошиаха!
 
Согласно Зоару, Его обоняние превосходит Его качества мудрости и понимания. Он сможет судить только по Своему обонянию!
 
И на каком-то уровне каждый из нас сможет сделать то же самое – благодаря раскрытию искры Мошиаха, которая находится внутри каждого из нас!
 
У каждого из нас появится новое обоняние, о котором мы даже не подозревали...
Новое духовное чувство, усиленная связь с нашими собственными душами...
 
И как интересно, что наш новый год «81» соответствует еврейскому слову אף, что означает гнев, но также означает «нос»!
 
Потому что это год, когда явный «гнев» Вс-ышнего превратится в год аромата – год, когда будет явлен царь Мошиах и будет судить весь мир с помощью обоняния.
 
Когда Он превзойдет всякую мудрость и понимание в вынесении Своего вердикта – решив, что все мы достойны высшего добра и благословения, истинного и полного Избавления прямо сейчас!!!
 
אף ...
«Даже»,
«Гнев»,
«Нос»,
Какое странное слово... Так много значений и коннотаций... Все как-то связаны, при этом не все однозначно положительны...
 
Но кто знает, возможно, потеря или искажение нашего обоняния является частью космического растворения и расшифровки букв אף в פא.
 
תהא שנת פלאות אראנו
 
Это будет год явленных чудес!!!
 
Пусть это произойдет немедленно!!!

It’s not over for Anyone until it’s over for Everyone

So this week, the girls have LIVE school and the boys have ZOOM, but it seems they’d rather switch 😆

Last night, when I told Levi (4 years) that he has ZOOM tomorrow, he said, (in Yiddish), “Zoom? Zoom? Again Zoom? I don’t want zoom! I want to go INSIDE the school. Like “INSIDE”...”

But this morning, when we started to hurry Nechamale to get ready for LIVE school, she wasn’t excited either. She said, “I can’t keep switching like this - one week school, one week zoom.. it needs to be at least by month. One month school. One month Zoom.”

And Chayale decided she doesn’t want to go to Gan today either, so she stayed home with the boys 🤷‍♀️

And I totally get all of them! 

At first, when I got back my antibodies test with very high results, 🎉 I felt this awesome sense of freedom, like a personal family Redemption. I thought, “That’s it, no more fear of infecting others, no more quarantine, no more masks... it’s over for us now. I can go anywhere, I can do anything, 😅... (at least for a while).” 

But I quickly realized that a “personal” Redemption holds very little weight - we need the true and complete Redemption for EVERYONE! 

There is no “antibodies” pass. 

Wherever I went, I was still asked to wear a mask.
After a month of being home- (half for extended holidays, and half for quarantine), the schools were closed again last week, and still now for the boys...
(I think I can count on my fingers how many live school days we had in the last 8 months;)

And my cleaning lady, (who I missed a LOT during quarantine, 😆) didn’t show up yesterday cuz she was helping her sister, who had symptoms, get tested for corona..

And we still can’t travel without special permission to re-enter the country.. 

And most importantly, we still have LOTS of people we care about to pray for, and LOTS and LOTS of seeming mess in this world...

So Bottom line: 

It’s not over for ANYONE until it’s over for EVERYONE! 

Geulah Protis (personal Redemption) is kind of nice, but it’s not at all TRUE or COMPLETE, without the Geulah klolis! (GLOBAL Redemption)

As covid-19 taught us,
We are all so connected, 
We are ALL in the same boat...

And we all share the same desire,

WE WANT MOSHIACH NOW!!!

Итак, на этой неделе у девочек есть началась обычная школы, а у мальчиков – по ZOOM, но, похоже, они предпочли бы поменяться)

Вчера вечером, когда я сказала Леви (4 года), что завтра у него ZOOM, он сказал (на идиш): «Zoom? Зум? Опять зум? Я не хочу зум! Я хочу пойти ВНУТРЬ школы. Как «ВНУТРИ» ... »

Но сегодня утром, когда мы начали торопить Нехамале готовиться к офлайн школе, она тоже не обрадовалась. Она сказала: «Я не могу продолжать так переключаться – одна неделя в школе, одна неделя в зуме… это должно быть как минимум по месяцам. Месяц – в школе. Месяц – в Zoom».

А Хаяле решила, что сегодня она тоже не хочет идти в Ган, поэтому осталась дома с мальчиками)

И я полностью понимаю их всех!

Сначала, когда я получила результат теста на антитела с очень высокими результатами, я почувствовала это потрясающее ощущение свободы, как личное семейное Избавление. Я подумала: «Вот и все, больше никакого страха заразить других, никакого карантина, никаких масок… теперь для нас все закончилось. Я могу пойти куда угодно, я могу делать все, что угодно... (по крайней мере, на время)».

Но я быстро поняла, что «личное» Избавление имеет очень небольшой вес – нам нужно истинное и полное Избавление для КАЖДОГО!

Нет пропуска для «антител».

Куда бы я ни пошла, меня все равно просили носить маску.
После месяца пребывания дома (половина на продленных каникулах и половина на карантине) на прошлой неделе школы снова закрылись, и все еще закрыты для мальчиков ...
(Думаю, я могу сосчитать по пальцам, сколько обычных школьных дней у нас было за последние 8 месяцев;)

И моя уборщица (по которой я ОЧЕНЬ скучала во время карантина) не пришла вчера, потому что она помогала своей сестре, у которой были симптомы, пройти тест на корону...

И мы по-прежнему не можем путешествовать без специального разрешения на повторный въезд в страну...

И, что наиболее важно, у нас все еще есть МНОГО людей, которые нам дороги, за которых мы молимся, и МНОГО-МНОГО кажущегося беспорядка в этом мире ...

Итак, итог:

Это не заканчивается НИ ДЛЯ КОГО, пока не закончится для ВСЕХ!

Геула Пратит (личное избавление) совсем неплохо, но это совсем не ИСТИННОЕ или ПОЛНЕ без Геула клалит! (ГЛОБАЛЬНОЕ Избавление)

Как нас научил covid-19, мы все настолько связаны, мы ВСЕ в одной лодке...

И все мы разделяем одно желание, МЫ ХОТИМ МОШАХА СЕЙЧАС!!!

Do we Really Want Moshiach

B”H

DO WE REALLY WANT MOSHIACH?

Every time we learn the famous sicha of koach nissan, the same question always comes up, “How is it possible that since the Rebbe said those words, there weren’t even 10 Yidden who REALLY truthfully cried out Ad Mosai?! There definitely were way more than ten!

Just one of many many examples, is the video of the woman who painfully cried out to the Rebbe right after the sicha,
“I want Moshiach! I want my son back!...”
It’s obvious that she meant those words with her whole heart and soul!
And since then there have been hundreds or even thousands of such cries!
How can it be that Moshiach still hasn’t come?

I still don’t know the answer, and Hashem has absolutely no excuse at all for delaying the Geulah this long!! He owed it to us years ago and it seems to me like a big mistake that He hasn’t taken us up on the many perfect opportunities we gave Him for this, especially like this past Pesach...!
Hashem has A LOT to answer for when Moshiach comes!!!

But to myself, and only to myself, (Hashem, this post is not written to you!,) I say that, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.”

Something is clearly wrong with the way we are wanting Moshiach. We have no choice but to go deeper and ask, “Maybe what we’ve been wanting until now, wasn’t really Moshiach, but something else?”

Did the mother in that video really want Moshiach, or did she really want her son back?
What if her son was never taken away, would she still want Moshiach so badly? What if there was some other way to bring him back without the whole Geulah package, would she still need Moshiach, or would that be good enough?

And the same is true for so many other reasons that we cry out for Moshiach.
If it’s because we need an escape from the physical and emotional pain of Golus, is that considered wanting Moshiach, or just wanting the current hardships to disappear? And will such reasons for wanting Moshiach be emes, which means consistent? Or will they keep changing along with all our highs and our lows, our good days and our bad days?

They tell a story of a man with a large amount of money in a certain bank, who happened to bump into the bank owner, and ask him how he’s doing.
The owner sighed and answered that he’s waiting for Moshiach!
The man quickly rushed to the bank to pull out all of his money, and sure enough the next day, he heard the news that the whole bank chain just went bankrupt.
When the bank owner confronted him about how he knew this insider's information, he replied, “It’s you who made it obvious that there must be a big problem with the bank! Why else would you suddenly be talking about Moshiach?!”

It’s supposed to be a joke, but perhaps many of us have been like that bank owner who only felt the need for Moshiach when times were really black?

Even if the main reason I want Moshiach is because I want to see the Rebbe, and I want my kids to see the Rebbe.. Does that mean that I really want Moshiach? Did we not need Moshiach to take us out of galus before gimmel tammuz? And before chof zayin adar?

And even if the main reason I want Moshiach is because I don’t want the Rebbe to suffer, and I want the Rebbe to be truly happy, and to see His dream and life shlichus finally come to fruition, does that mean that I really want Moshiach or that I just don’t want the Rebbe to be in pain?
What if theoretically we could make the Rebbe truly happy even while we remained in golus, would we no longer need Moshiach?
That’s exactly what the Rebbe was frustrated about on Chof Ches Nissan - that we only cry out because we are told to. In other words, that we only ask for Moshiach to try to please the Rebbe... We are meant to also truly want it for ourselves.

And if today it especially pains me that 770 is closed, and that the Ohel is almost empty, and that shuls and schools all over the world are shut down, and that so many people are suffering from illness, or from loss, or from economic loss, or emotional stress, and anxiety and fears... does that mean that I really want Moshiach?
Did the world not need Moshiach before the virus? And if someone would find the magic cure for the virus today, and the world could truly return to “normal” tomorrow, would we no longer need Moshiach as urgently?

If we want Moshiach as an escape from our problems, and if that kind of motivation for crying “ad mosai” is what it would have taken to make Hashem send the Geulah, there have sadly been way darker times in our history, when Yidden have no doubtedly cried out from even greater depths...

We’re taught that while that kind of crying out was good enough to bring about geulas mitzrayim, Hashem clearly needs something deeper for our Geulah...

One of the first classes that I taught on relationships was from JLI soulmates course on “Why Marry?”. In it, there was a list of all sorts of reasons why people want to marry, (like to have children, to be part of a nuclear family, for emotional support, financial security, etc) and the point of the lesson was that while all those are great side benefits  of marriage, they should never be the foundational motive of why we want to marry.
Technically, we can have all those things without marriage. And even if we can’t, none of those are ever a good reason to marry someone.

And even worse than any of those listed reasons -  imagine someone wanted to marry you mainly because they can’t stand living in their parent’s house any longer, or can’t stand the shidduch scene any more, or just want to finally make their impatient mother and grandmother happy and proud....

Would you accept such a proposal?

Or do you want to marry someone who may already have a great life, but feels something is missing because you are the other half of his soul, and he wants to be with YOU. He wants to really get to know you and have an intimate relationship with you, and share every part of his life with you? That while he will surely enjoy many side benefits by marrying you, none of those are the reason for his proposal.

This morning I got to have a 15 minute Moshiach learning call with a friend that we signed up for on learnmoshiach.com/join. We are trying to slowly learn the 1st Sicha of the dvar malchus booklet based on the Rambam, that I was lucky to receive from the Rebbe when I was a little girl.
The last point that we learned today made me realize that wanting Moshiach for the right reason is not only a nice bonus, but actually a Halacha.

The Rebbe explains that the reason the Rambam in hilchos melachim only focuses on Moshiach’s role to restore Torah and Mitzvos like in the times of Dovid Hamelech, and not on all of Moshiach’s other great qualities, is because our faith in Moshiach and our reason for waiting for him needs to be not (only) for him to take us out of galus, but for him to bring about the return of all the mitzvos. The whole purpose of Moshiach being appointed and of Him gathering all the Yidden and building the Beis Hamikdash - is to make it possible for us to fully keep all 613 Mitzvos like before. 
“It was for this alone that the chachamim desired Moshiach.”

We’re not supposed to believe in and await Moshiach as an escape or a vacation, but as a time when we will finally be able to see and know and unite with Hashem.
Even on a good galus day, even on the best galus day, we are still living in the dark, we are still living in a world of lies, we are still so far from connecting with Hashem as we are meant to.

What seemed to pain the Rebbe the most of all, is that after all His efforts, we are still in a “galus prati in our avodas Hashem.”
Perhaps this is one of the meanings of “Lekabel penei Moshiach tzidkeinu” - to receive the pnimiyus of Moshiach. To desire not just the external benefits of Moshiach, but the innermost aspect of Moshiach, the essence of what Moshiach is really all about - which is the completion of Torah and mitzvos, and for “the world to be filled with the knowledge of Hashem as the waters cover the ocean bed.”

I’ll admit that I don't yet know how to have such spiritual desires and altruistic motives, (isn’t that what we need Moshiach for?), but there was a video going around recently that I think I’m starting to relate to. In it, the Rebbe cries with so much pain and emotion after saying that, “It’s obvious why the nefesh habehamis wants Moshiach - he doesn’t want to be an animal anymore!”

Yes, the real reason I want Moshiach is because I don’t want to be an animal anymore!
I want to finally be freed from my golus prati! From my ego, from my selfish motives, from my negative traits, from the chains of my yetzer hara,
As the Rebbe cried on Yud Shvat 5711, “that each person knows in his soul that he has it..”

There’s a reason our generation was blessed with such material and spiritual freedom and abundance - it’s because Hashem wants us to be crushed from within, not crushed from without.
To be crushed by the world of lies and masks...
To be crushed because we want the TRUTH to finally be revealed to the whole world!

What’s the kuntz to want Moshiach for selfish or side reasons?
How is that different than serving avodah zara?
How is that different than serving Hashem for gan eden?

But the Rebbe teaches that it IS totally different - because Moshiach is not about us.
It’s about Hashem’s desire to have a home in this world.
It’s about reaching the ultimate purpose and intent of all His creation.

Although it’s the time that we’ll receive our reward, it’s not about the reward.
Although it will be the time of freedom from all material concerns, that’s only to allow us the peace of mind to pursue the knowledge of Hashem.
Although it’s the time we’ll be experiencing the greatest pleasure humanly possible, that will just be the reflection of the ultimate joy and pleasure that we finally cause Hashem to experience.

The truth is that this still doesn’t answer the question, because Chassidus teaches us that, “Mitoch shelo lishma, ba lishma.” - Within every selfish motivation, there is a selfless motivation.

So no matter why we each think we want Moshiach, deep down we all really truly want Him for the right reasons, and so Hashem has no excuse at all to chv keep us waiting even one second longer!!!

May Hashem finally allow Moshiach to be fully anointed, to gather us all together, and to build the 3rd Beis Hamikdash in Yerushalyim, NOW MAMASH!!

Our Simcha is not Complete

Yesterday, I overheard my daughter leaving a voice note to her friend,
“… My mother’s sister is getting married tonight, but we can’t go because of the virus, so we are gonna make the wedding in our house… My father already paid for tickets to fly, we even made gowns, but now we can’t go to my aunt’s wedding, that’s so sad…”

Of course she cried when I first told her last week… so did I. And of course she was in denial at first… so was I.

But B”H that as of now, my kids are still naive - what’s sad for her is only that she couldn’t go to the wedding. I’m glad that she doesn’t yet know about the tragic news in anash, about the overwhelming tehillim list, about the whole world in fear, about the panic in the air… 

And I thank Hashem that in the middle of this dark nightmare, there is still such great light and joy and kindness and beauty! 

But I feel that us not being able to fly in for the wedding
Is just our small way of somehow expressing
What at most simchas till now, we have been partly forgetting - 

That even at the peak of our simchas and joy
We are still in deep pain, we still feel the void
On one side we feel the greatest bliss as we watch our dreams come true
No words can express our happiness and overflowing gratitude
But even as we celebrate with laughter and song
We don’t forget Yerushalayim, and it’s NOT just empty words!

I’m reminded of the message of Ches Nissan, Mem Hay
Cuz their wedding was originally planned for that day
When the Rebbe cried out asking, “How could it be,
That Yidden are sitting in Golus so comfortably?
Saying life is good - both physically and spiritually
We’ve survived it so long until now, there’s no rush to leave.
The Rebbe there said that we must learn from Menashe
Who brought their Karban on Ches Nissan - two cows instead of one 
Because their family was split on two sides of the Yarden
To show that life in Golus is simply not an option.
While all the other Shvatim were excited to finally enter the Land
Menashe wanted to remember that this isn’t the real plan
We need all 10 lands on BOTH sides for us to feel complete Simcha,
They split their family on PURPOSE to show their desire for Geulah
Yes they’ve waited 40 years to finally reach this day
But they didn’t forget that they’ve only arrived half way.

The Rebbe said it’s US that are at fault for Moshiach’s delay,
Cuz we were too ashamed to say we need Moshiach right away
And the ripple effect of us not crying out loud for Moshiach NOW
Is what made it possible for other Yidden to say Golus is good somehow

Plan A would’ve been for each of us to feel the *spiritual* pain and lack 
That no matter how good things were in golus, it was all NOTHING in fact
Cuz the inner pleasure of atik that awaits us, is immeasurably greater
No joy we have seen in history can even remotely compare!

I wish we didn’t need corona, to remind us of what we knew all along
That we’ve been sitting in this Golus for just way too long
It’s time to put the HOLY crown, right back where it belongs
It’s time to ask our King to take us out of here, with song! 

No, we are not foolish - we won’t give in to doubts and fears
We have not forgotten all that we’ve been taught over these years
We won’t put our trust in doctors or medicines or soaps
We know we can’t protect ourselves by hiding with false hopes.

Even though we try our best to save lives by staying home
We know we have no one to rely on, except Hashem alone!
We know that all of nature is nothing more than an illusion,
Our tree of life is TORAH, and our connection to Hashem.

And what is it that Hashem wants? What is He waiting for?
It seems clear He wants us each to reveal our essence & core,
To unite with Him in love, to desire His Revelation,
And to unite with every Jewish soul, to heal all separation!

The Rebbe explained to us the lesson from Queen Esther,
When the lives of all the Jewish people were in danger
When her own life, both physical and spiritual, were at risk,
She didn’t count on her high position to be the quick fix, 
She didn’t spend 3 days thinking of makeup and a dress
She didn’t try to look her best by eating well and getting rest.
She knew that her salvation will come from Hashem and Him alone,
So she fasted for 3 days, and asked all Jews to atone.
Although that made her less attractive according to the laws of nature,
Hashem was with her because of it, and THAT is what saved her!

The good news is that this is not just another horrid craze,
The good news is that our world is now in transition stage,
Of all the quotes going around there was one that rang most true,
The world is closed for construction, good times are coming soon!

The world will not just go back to the way it was before,
How would that ever justify the many lives it tore?!
We’re not in this to just survive, not just waiting for it to pass,
We’re waiting for the hidden blessing to become fully manifest! 

We are just moments before the birth of a great new world that will
Revive those who passed on, and heal those who are ill
Remove all the fears, and unite us all as one,
Make us want to thank Hashem for all that He has done!

It feels like it’s a curse, it feels like a descent,
But we know that it’s to lead us to the ultimate ascent!
Cuz we have a promise from our Rebbe, and his clear PROPHECY, 
There is no room for doubt! Moshiach we’ll soon see!
It’s not a question of IF, it’s only a question of when
But time has run out, 70 years is a gen!

We are moments before the birth of a new beautiful world,
The world that our dear Rebbe has dreamed of all along 
Yes, these are crazy times, but it’s transition stage of birth, 
On this day of Chof Zayin Adar, let’s PULL heaven down to earth! 

United we stand, we all let go of any hate,
We want Moshiach NOW, we can’t bear to wait!!! 
No two minds think alike, and we’re both right, and it’s ok!
But one thing we ALL agree on - we need Moshiach here TODAY!!

I’m Done Policing My Kids

When I first saw the campaign to  #defundthepolice, i thought it was absolutely insane. I thought that this time, the world has really gone mad. True, there are some bad police officers who need to be removed, just like there are some bad doctors and some bad teachers... But most of them are just doing their job to keep this world safe! This planet would be a jungle if not for the police enforcing the law, and tragically, we’ve already seen the dangers of this campaign playing out in cities all around the US. It’s a frightening idea.

I felt especially disappointed to see this news because these past few months I was trying so hard to be positive. I believed that all this quarantine time taught humanity something about Gd and about what’s really important in life. That it made us better people, that it made this world a better place. It suddenly hit me that while that may have been true for many us in our safe Moshiachdik “Ark”, that’s not what’s been going on for the world at large. It now seemed obvious that all this time “locked up” at home, only brought out the worst in a lot of people. Instead of this pandemic leading us straight into the true and complete Geulah (Redemption) as I was expecting, it seemed it brought us deeper into the galus, (exile) Gd forbid. 

But I’m so grateful to some of our fellow Chassidim like Rabbi Wolf and many others, who have not lost their Geulah vision and focus, for even a moment. They reminded me that if we just listen to the Rebbe and “open up our eyes” to the inside story, we will clearly see the Geulah, and it’s actually so cool and exciting! It doesn’t take any wisdom or talent to see darkness and galus... What takes wisdom and talent is to see the light hidden within the darkness, to see the beauty that’s hiding within the ugly outer shell. And that’s the gift the Rebbe gave us.

As shown on the latest JEM video, it is our own Rebbe who came up with the idea of reallocating police funds! It’s the Rebbe who said that instead of spending crazy amounts of money on prisons, we should be investing our money in moral education so that people won’t commit crimes in the first place... It’s so encouraging to see that the world is finally taking the Rebbe’s advice seriously! 

And it’s the Rebbe who taught us in the famous sicha of Shoftim 1991, that the command to appoint policeman only applies to Galus... And that we are now beginning the era of Geulah, when all policemen will be replaced with advisors! 

Whether the liberals realize it or not, it seems that they are actually catching on and crying out for Moshiach! They are demanding that Geulah become a reality! They are simply not willing to be controlled by police anymore. They don’t want anyone to be forced into complying, they want people to be helped and coached into complying... The message is actually really awesome! 

From this perspective, I love the idea of defunding the police! I’m enjoying hearing that the left believes that it’s not just a fantasy. I’m happy to see that so many people have faith that it’s possible to eventually eliminate the need for police altogether. 

This is part of the prophecy of Geulah unfolding! 

Of course, I’m not so naive to think that all those fighting to defund the police have altruistic intentions or that they know how to reallocate in a safe, gradual, and practical way... But if the Rebbe can see the positive side in Korach’s argument, in Miriam bas Bilga, in the hippie movement, and in countless others, then we can do the same. 

I realized that Geulah is a process. It’s not necessarily about the need for police disappearing in one magical moment. It’s about a gradual intolerance to force and control that we’ve been seeing more and more over the last few decades. It simply doesn’t work anymore! The era of policing is over. 

The truth is that I’ve been noticing this with my kids for a long time already, but I didn’t fully understand it till now.

I used to feel so vulnerable when I realized that I can’t “control” my kids. I felt so frustrated that there is no way I can “force” even my 4 year old to do what I want him to do. I would set a mental reminder to myself that negativity just doesn’t work with them! That it’s a waste of my time and energy to go that route. That it’s not only often ineffective, but also counterproductive. 

But then I would forget and try again.

But now, I realize that it’s not just me, and it’s not just my kids. It’s our whole Geulah generation. We are just DONE with the old way of policing - of control and force and fear and threats and punishment. In today’s generation, even raising our voices or showing any degree of anger or disappointment is like hitting! Nothing good will come out of it! 

The ONLY thing that works now is positivity. The only option is to be an ADVISOR to our kids. To love them. To coach them. To educate them. To explain things to them. To make them WANT to listen. To show them how it’s for their own good.  To show them the joy and pleasure in Yiddishkeit. To make them want to daven, want to learn Torah, want to do mitzvos, want to eat healthy, want to clean up, want to sleep on time, want to sleep in their own beds through the night🙏, want to think positive, want to be kind and respectful to others… and the list goes on and on. 

And there is no better role model for this than our Rebbe. 

The Rebbe never told anyone what to do, never scared anyone, never forced anyone. He ONLY advised us. We see this approach  emphasized again and again in the Rebbe’s letters - showing how the Mitzvos are good for us, not only spiritually but also materially. He always explained how even though Torah and mitzvos are a must for their own sake, they are also the channel for all the brachos, and for a good, happy, and satisfying life. 

I wish I knew the answer of how to make this all reality right now in the world at large, but I’m really excited to start by #defundingthepolice in my own home today. To remember that I am done playing policeman for good. That I am no longer ready to invest any of my energy in that direction. To remember that from now on, I am ONLY their loving, understanding, patient, and helpful, advisor and coach. That I am always on their side.

We are taught that Hashem is our shadow, and so I hope that Hashem will be our mirror and give up on using any kind of negativity on us...

And most importantly, that He will finally return our dear Rebbe - our Judge and Advisor, to us like before, in a completely revealed way for everyone, right now, BEFORE this gimmel Tammuz!



Let My People Go



I remember as a little girl, every time we would learn the story of leaving mitzrayim, I could never understand how it was possible that Pharoh was hit with one makkah after the next, but he still didn't learn his lesson and let the Yidden out... 


Each time, he promised he would, and begged Moshe to Daven that the makkah should end, but once it did, he changed his mind and didn't let the Yidden go again.


But as I was telling my kids the parsha last night, I realized that in a way, the Pharoh in us does the same thing today.


Unfortunately this Golus has been filled with so many crazy hardships, (may there be no more!)

And each time, we Daven with all our heart for the makkah to go away - to be healed, to be comforted, to be blessed... 


But somehow, a part of us is still not fully ready to leave this Golus altogether, once and forever.


Sometimes in the hard moments, we really do feel we want Moshiach now, but then, after the "makkah" settles, we forget about how much we need Moshiach, and get comfortable again.


It's as if the Pharoh in us wants the pain and tragedies to go away.. but still doesn't want the Golus itself to go away - just that the Golus shouldn't be so hard.


But the truth is that thank Gd there is no choice - the Golus must end, and it will...


There is no reason to hold on to it any longer;

And no, we don't need any more reminders at all! 

We are ready to be taken out -TODAY!!


לע״נ ר׳ מנחם מאיר בן ר׳ חיים משה יהודההכהן בלוי ע״ה


The Power of Now, Fully Present in the Present

What is the greatest moment of your life? 
This One.

Whomever you’re speaking with now - 
Is *the* most important person in the world for you right now.

Whatever it is you’re busy with now - 
Is *the* most important thing in the world for you right now. 

Wherever you are in the world right now -
Is *exactly* where your shlichus lay right now.

Forget about what was.
Forget about what’s next.

Forget about what’s going on - 
In any other space beyond this dot. 

Forget about what anyone else is doing, 
Or has done, or will do. 

Just be you, 
Just be here, 
Just be now. 
Fully PRESENT in the PRESENT

Don’t be distracted
Don’t multitask -

It’s a waste of time,
And there is NO such thing.

Be fully here,
With all your being - 

With all your *thoughts*, 
With all your *words*, 
With all your *actions*.
(And with all your passion!)

All three.
No less.

Every time. 

Get real.
Get off the fence. 
Just choose. 

In or out.
Here or there. 

Whatever “it” is, 

Even if it’s just a step on the way,
Even if it’s just a means to an end,
Even if it’s just a preparation,
Even if it’s just one tiny detail, 
In just one tiny space,
By just one soul out of millions… 

Give it all you’ve got,
Do it all the way - 

Cuz it MATTERS,
And the whole world depends on it - 

Cuz all time 
is included in THIS moment,
And all space 
is included in THIS dot,
And all Jews 
are included in YOUR soul,
(Including all those who came before you, and all those who will come after you,)

Because the whole world was created JUST FOR YOU,

Which means the whole world is included in YOU, 

Which means that YOU can affect the whole world,

Just by doing YOUR part fully, 
*Right here, right *Now*

You were given the full achrayus,
You were given the full zechus,

Don’t put it on anyone else to bring the Geulah.

Cuz everyone must do their part,

But no one else can do *your* part.

Don’t think *you* don’t count.
Don’t think *this moment* doesn’t count.
Don’t think *your corner* doesn’t count.

Cuz when all of you is invested,
In one place, at one time, 
For one purpose,

That’s you living Geulah.

That’s you being “amitis” and “shleima” - 
That’s you being true, complete, and perfect.

That’s you preparing for the GLOBAL Geulah haamitis vihashleima -
When the whole world will be true, complete, and perfect. 

That’s you getting ready, 
That’s you warming up to it,
That’s you tasting it.

Don’t just wait to be taken to Eretz Yisroel,
CREATE Eretz Yisroel here.

Don’t just wait for the Geulah to come, CREATE Geulah now*

*Cuz what you’ll see then, and what you’ll see there,*
*Is simply the revelation of what you create Now and Here*

It’s ALL in your hands.
And He needs you ALL IN.

May we immediately find ourselves with Moshiach, in Yerushalayim!  

***
The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Sicha Pinchas Nun Alef