Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Day 16/30 - *Birthing Moshiach*

 “אשה כי תזריע ויולדת זכר...”


Dear Jewish Women, 


The contractions are coming in 

Without leaving us a chance 

To catch our breath 

In between 

They are so close together

So Intense

So long

So painful 


We are in transition

We have reached the climax point

We are feeling the urge to birth our baby 


We know it’s time 

To push through!


We are all 

ONE body

We are all

ONE soul


We need to make this final push - 

Together!

United! 


With ALL our power!


But it’s so hard! 

We are so tired! 

This labor has been going on for way too long! 

We have no more strength! 


And we are afraid!


Wishing we could go backwards... 

All we want 

Is to just let all the pain 

Go away! 


We look around 

We look up 

At our Support 

Pleading 

Help me

Do this for me! 


I CAN’T!

We can’t! 


We don’t know what

We don’t know how

We don’t know when 

We don’t know why...


But we hear the reply, 


“I’m right here with you

Supporting you 

Guiding you 

Helping you 


Yes, I love you! 


But no, 

I can’t do it for you! 


Only YOU can do it for you! 

And for me! 

And for ALL of history! 


No, 

Birth won’t happen TO you

Birth can’t happen TO you 


Birth WILL happen 

THROUGH you -


But you are almost there! 


And I believe in you

With complete faith! 


I already told you what

I already told you how

Just remember all we learned together...


Because now it’s up to you! 


And yes,

You CAN! 

And yes, 

You WILL! 


True, 

Until now you needed 

To BREATHE

Through each surge

To ACCEPT

Each contraction

To TRUST

That’s it’s bringing you closer 

To let go 

And let Gd! 


But now, 

The baby is crowning! 

No more breathing through! 


Only breathing DOWN

Only breathing OUT


Will bring you TRUE relief 


Just cry out 

“Ad Mosai?!”


Because the time is right! 

The time is ripe!

The time has arrived! 


No - 


The time has actually passed!


You are critically overdue! 


You can’t wait any longer -


It’s no longer SAFE

To wait any longer!


You are the 9th generation 

From the Baal Shem Tov 

You’ve gotten this far

You’ve gotten this close

You are almost there 

You can’t give up now!


Trust in your power! 

The way I trust in you!


This birth MUST happen 

It’s already guaranteed - 

In Torah, in Mitzvos, 

With Nevuah...


But it will happen 

Through YOU!


For it’s YOUR baby! 


Just close your eyes and envision...


In just one moment 

We will be AFTER


In just one moment 

We will cry tears of joy


In just one moment 

We will laugh with relief! 

As all the pain melts away 


(And when we see it’s a BOY

We’ll know he’s here to stay! 

Because males don’t give birth,

We won’t have to do this again, ever!  

Because Golus will be gone, 

FOREVER!)


And in just one moment 

We will look at our Baby 

With endless pride

And euphoria 


And say,


WE DID IT!


It was worth it!


ברוך... שהחיינו וקיימנו והגיענו לזמן הזה!




Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Day 15/30 - *Holy Pleasures*

 Someone wrote to me this morning that while yesterday’s thought really resonated with her, it seemed like the exact opposite message of yesterday’s Hayom Yom, that:

“What is forbidden is forbidden, and what is permitted is unnecessary.”? 


I hadn’t noticed it at first, but after she pointed it out, it was amazing to put together the two pieces and see how the Rebbetzin’s Hayom Yom really clarifies the meaning of her words, “Enjoy Life!”


It goes without saying that she surely didn’t mean to enjoy forbidden pleasures, Gd forbid! 


But it seems she didn’t even mean to enjoy _permitted_ pleasures - because that would be impossible to reconcile with her Hayom Yom, as well as with what she showed us through her living example…


So clearly - she was specifically referring to enjoying HOLY pleasures! 


And that explains why it needs reminding! 


Because we don’t need any “reminders” to enjoy what’s forbidden! Or even what’s permitted! Our animal soul does a great job at that naturally!


But we definitely DO need the constant reminder to enjoy all the TRUE pleasures of life! To find the deep enjoyment in all that is holy and good - because that’s where the deepest pleasure is to be found - 

In davening, in learning, in spending time with our children, in fulfilling our shlichus, and in helping others…! 

As it says in the hayom yom of 6 Adar 1, 

“It is a magnificent gift of G‑d to merit an innate sense - a "feel" - for doing kindness to another, to derive deep pleasure from it.”


Or as explained in today’s Tanya, to fulfill Hashem’s will with a love that is born from *meditation*, the kind that takes “reminding”, as opposed to the kind that we feel naturally…


And THAT is where we are able to experience a taste of the pleasure of Geulah! 


Because Moshiach’s times will not be about vacationing on the beach with a nice cocktail, or enjoying all kinds of sports or entertainment… ! 


It will be about an infinitely higher pleasure - a holy pleasure, a Gdly pleasure!


So great, that all worldly pleasures will suddenly appear like mere dust in our eyes!


It will be the pleasure of witnessing the entire world accepting and crowning Melech HaMoshiach as their King! 

And through His Kingship, the pleasure of witnessing the entire world truly recognizing and desiring Hashem’s Kingship,

ומלכותו *ברצון* קבלו עליהם…-

Accepting and fulfilling all of His commands, by CHOICE, with desire, and love!


The pleasure of experiencing endless joyous farbrengens with Melech HaMoshiach, and hearing awesome new Torah wisdom emanating from Him!


The pleasure of seeing the triumph of the truth, the fair judgement of the wicked, the end of all evil and lies - once and forever!


The pleasure of watching all Jews unite together in true peace and unity and friendship - completely raw, and stripped of all ego! 


The pleasure of experiencing the grand reunion with all of our Tzaddikim and with all of our loved ones, and with all generations of Jews that have ever lived, the ultimate Hakhel!


The pleasure of singing and dancing to Hashem in the 3rd Beis Hamikdash, and offering our sacrifices there with joy!


The pleasure of knowing and seeing and feeling Hashem’s infinite love for us, His unconditional pride in us, and the indescribable pleasure that He has from us!


The pleasure of ולא יכנף עוד מוריך -  of knowing Hashem in the most intimate way, of seeing Hashem reveal His essence to us, without any coverings, without any concealments!


The pleasure of seeing the sweet fruits of all our labor, the full effect of every positive thought, and word, and action, that we performed throughout all these thousands of years! 


The pleasure that will be so great that it will justify all the pain and suffering that we experienced throughout the entire duration of Golus, to the point that we will say, אודך ה כי אנפת בי!


We can truly go on and on forever… 

For while all the pleasures of this material world don’t add up to even one moment of the spiritual pleasures of Gan Eden…

All of the spiritual pleasures of Gan Eden don’t add up to even one moment of the ultimate pleasures of the era of Moshiach and the Resurrection!  

Which explains why even the holiest souls which have already experienced thousands of levels of Gdly pleasure in Heaven, just can’t wait to come back down here on earth -  


Because the Essence of the Shechina will be revealed specifically DOWN HERE! 

The ultimate *Holy* Pleasure of Hashem together with His beloved Jewish People, will be experienced right in this lowest world!


So while it was once said that, _“The Moshiach that you want will never come, and the Moshiach that will come, you don’t want…”_ - 


*We are so past that by now!!!*


Today, we have learned enough and meditated enough and matured enough to the level of truly wanting the REAL Moshiach! 


We know exactly who He is and exactly what He is about! 

And we are more than ready to greet Him with open arms!!! 


So let HIm just come! 


We are ready to TRULY “Enjoy LIfe,” like we never have before!





Monday, March 28, 2022

Day 14/30 - *“Enjoy Life”* _In honor of the Rebbetzin’s birthday. _

 Because the words of the Rebbetzin were so few and in between, every single word that we do have holds enormous meaning for us, and is surely worth way more than it seems at face value. 


So I was trying to understand, what is the meaning of the Rebbetzin’s advice to the two teenage Raskin girls, that “I want you to always remember one thing! Enjoy life!”?


What does it mean to “enjoy life”? Isn’t Yiddishkeit all about purpose over pleasure? We know so much about the importance of happiness, because that leads to all positive things… But isn’t pleasure different, something we can kind of do without? 


And why the need to “remember” to enjoy life? Don’t we naturally always want to enjoy life? 

And why is this advice specifically coming from her? We wouldn’t think that the Rebbetzin is the one who focused on enjoyment…


But then I noticed that these 2 words, “Enjoy Life,” are actually clearly connected to the Rebbetzin’s essence, because they are the meaning of her name! “Chaya” - means life, and “Mushka” - is a special spice, which is not something “necessary”, but something purely intended for pleasure! 


But why is the pleasure factor so important? Why is it that we are most truly alive when we are in a state of pleasure? And why is the Rebbetzin, our Queen, the one who represents this truth? 


Perhaps it’s because pleasure itself IS the purpose!! 


After all, why did Hashem create this world in the first place?!

He didn’t NEED this world! He didn’t NEED us. He didn’t HAVE to take this on.


Hashem created the world because He wanted to! Because of His craving, His DESIRE! 

נתאוה הקדוש ברוך הוא להיות לו יתברך דירה בתחתונים.


And desire and pleasure are two aspects of the same crown.

Whenever we desire something it’s because we know that that is what will bring us pleasure…


So if we were created only in order to bring Him pleasure, and we are all a part of Him, then it only makes sense that He wants us to experience that pleasure together with Him! Not to be with Him out of obligation or obedience, but out of that same deep desire for a relationship with Him.


And that’s why the Rebbe devoted his whole leadership to inspiring us to WANT Moshiach! And that’s why He was so disappointed when He saw that we were crying “Ad Mosai” only because we were told to, only because we “have” to, or only because we “needed” Moshiach in hard times… 

Because we were missing the whole point!


We can clearly see how the Rebbe and the Rebbetzin share the same exact neshama, connected to Malchus, which is connected to Keser, the source of our desire and pleasure.

How they share the same exact soul purpose, - which is to remind us all to look at this world as Hashem’s beautiful garden, as a place of astounding beauty, and delicious fruits which are solely here to bring us pleasure, -  to remember to “Enjoy Life!”.


Not to say, “We need Moshiach now” but to say “We WANT Moshiach now!” 


To get out of survival mode cuz that’s not what creation is about! 

To find the potential for pleasure in each and every moment, in each and every relationship, in each and every mitzvah that we fulfil, and in each and every Torah idea that we learn…


And most importantly, to yearn with all our souls for the ultimate pleasure which we will experience with the coming of Moshiach, when we will enjoy true and complete intimacy with our beloved Creator!



Sunday, March 27, 2022

Day 13/30 - Waking us up from Unconsciousness

 There are surely thousands of miracle stories of the Rebbe from after Gimmel Tammuz that have never been properly shared or recorded, and so in honor of Yud Aleph Nissan, I want to finally write down one such amazing story, which I really meant to share a while ago. 



Shortly after we moved into our new apartment this past Lag Ba’omer, I looked out the kitchen window and noticed there were aleph beis stickers on one of the apartment windows of the building facing us. We understood that there must be a Jewish family living there, but we had no idea who it was, and didn’t get around to finding out.


That summer, we took the kids to the park. The kids were already tired and kvetchy on the way back, and so we thought that we had overstayed and should have left earlier… 

But just as we were returning home, we saw ambulances near our building, and my husband noticed there was a frum woman pacing back and forth nearby. 


I jumped out of the car to find out what happened…

She told me that her 5 year old son just fell out of their window on the 4th floor! (Actually out of that same window with those aleph beis stickers…  which I hoped was a good sign that there would be a happy ending!)


She said that as long as the Drs didn’t come out of the ambulance, it meant that he is still alive, and there is still hope. 


We quickly posted everywhere to please say tehillim for little Moshe ben Miriam, and there are no words to describe the incredible feeling of unity and strength that came from watching people from all over the world, who just a moment ago were complete strangers, now joining together to daven for little Moshe, as if he was their own son or brother! 


I understood that Hashem made sure we returned home just at that moment, because had we been home already, we would probably not even have known what happened, and would not have been able to offer our help or support…


After about 40 minutes, which felt like an eternity, the doctors in the ambulance managed to resuscitate him Baruch HaShem, and stabilise him enough to head out to the hospital with his mother. 


In the meantime, I ran upstairs to get a tzedakah box and coins and sheva mitzvos booklets to give out to the police and all the people standing by, before going up to their apartment to support the traumatized sister, and bring their mezuzahs in to check.


When Moshe arrived at the hospital, his first head scans looked really terrible. It looked like there was no working brain left chv, which meant no chance of ever functioning normally again, even if he were to survive… 


But little Moshe’s strong mother Miriam, like Moshe Rabbeinu’s sister Miriam, was filled with faith and trust. She fully believed in the power of everyone’s prayers, and that Hashem would surely make a miracle for her family.


After that first major surgery, the doctor asked the mother if there were a lot of people praying for this boy? He said that he felt like Hashem was guiding his hands the entire time, and that the surgery was way more successful than anyone could have anticipated!!


They planned to have Moshe rest for a while, and said that they would let him wake up on Monday. 


We were all so grateful and hopeful, but when Monday came, and they tried to wake him up, nothing happened! He just wouldn’t regain consciousness! It was the greatest letdown! 


Understandably, his mother started to get nervous, but when I wrote into the Rebbe, the letter I opened to was about “Tracht gut vet zein gut” and so it was clear that we needed to remain strong and positive. 


I called the mother, and told her the story of the Rebbe’s advice to my mother’s cousin, when she was in a similar danger, which you can read here, http://myencounterblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/304.-Toldos-5779-Email-Updated.pdf


I promised that bl”n I would be happy to arrange and host his seudas hodaah, and that I would already start planning and preparing! 


That Wednesday night, at a community farbrengen, Mrs. Chani Lazar handed me a tiny zip lock bag, and said that it was for Moshe ben Miriam. 

Inside there was some dust from the wood from the floor of the Rebbe’s room, which Rabbi Chaim Sholom Halbershtam gathered when they scraped the floor after Gimmel Tammuz. 


Rabbi Halbershtam once shared, at the end of a farbrengen, that there was once a bachur who fell out of a window of the 3rd or 4th floor of the dorm on 1414 President Street. The doctors said that it was over - that there was nothing they could do to save him chv!

When R. Halbershtam heard this, he sent the bag with the dust from the Rebbe’s floor to put under his pillow, and the next morning, the bachur miraculously woke up and started recovering! 


Someone from Russia, named Siman Tov, who was present at that farbrengen, asked R. Halbershtam to give him a little bit of the dust, and Siman Tov always kept it with him…

When he heard what happened to Moshe Ben Miriam, he gave it to Rabbi Sholom Lazar of Sochi, to pass it on to his parents when he would come to Moscow, so they could pass it on to Moshe’s mother. 


I called Miriam to explain everything to her, and to ask if there was anyone coming to visit that I could send the bag with. 

She gave me the contact of her friend Yudit, but when Yudit came to pick it up, I realized that she would only be going to the hospital the next morning, since she asked if she could put it near her own sick son in the meantime, even though she is not chabad. 

I felt really bad that it wasn’t being delivered right away, but it was already too late to change anything, so I agreed and trusted that little Moshe would “hold on” until he received it. 


Thursday morning when I opened my phone, I saw that Miriam had sent very anxious texts throughout the night… 

The night was an extremely difficult one for Moshe! Not only was he still unconscious, but he had terrible fever, which is a very dangerous sign after surgery… and things looked like they were getting worse chv. 


I quickly started working on the Seudas Hodaah more actively, trying to stay strong…


And then suddenly, around 1pm that Thursday, Miriam posted the miraculous news! Moshe suddenly woke up! And he was TALKING! He was asking about his brother and sisters and nanny! His brain was working! He remembered everything! 


I can’t describe the feeling of gratitude and relief upon hearing the amazing news! I started crying tears of joy, singing and dancing, and announcing it from the rooftops… 

And then suddenly I realised, wow! I need to check if it’s connected to what the Lazars sent from the Rebbe!!


I couldn’t reach Miriam, so I called her friend Yudit instead, to find out if she had delivered it. She told me that yes, she gave it to her just 2 hours ago at 11am, because that’s when they were first allowed to meet.


I messaged Miriam to ask her if she had used it, and heard her reply in a voicenote, 

“Да, как только я положила, он проснулся и заговорил” - 

“Yes! As soon as I put it near him, he woke up and started talking!”


I got the chills! I was speechless! I couldn’t believe the clear miracle of the Rebbe that we had just witnessed! It was the first time that year that I could see the “Pelaos Arenu”, the revealed POSITIVE wonders that we were waiting for all year!  There’s no way to describe the emotions you feel when you see it in front of your eyes. It was one of the greatest, most joyful, moments of my life! 


I saw once again, how the Rebbe, the leader of our generation, is truly the Rebbe of EVERY single Jew in our generation - even those who are not officially Chabad & not connected with Him in an open way. While everyone’s prayers surely helped, the miracle came specifically through the Rosh Bnei Yisroel, the Head of the Jewish People, for Hashem set up the world in a way that the Rebbe is the channel for ALL blessings, both material and spiritual, to each and every person.


And I thought, that while the Rebbe revived little Moshe ben Miriam in the literal, physical sense, the Rebbe has revived, and continues to revive, our entire generation in the spiritual sense!!


Even when it seems that we have fallen, that all hope is lost, and that ch”v things are only getting worse… we know that in one instant, the Rebbe will wake us all up from this dream of Golus! He will gather us all together to Eretz Yisroel, and bring us all home to the 3rd Beis Hamikdash! 


May it be right now! 








Saturday, March 26, 2022

Day 12/30 - *Nostalgia for the Future*

 Two friends meet each other. 

The first asks, “Tell me, when will things finally be good?”

The second answers, “Good? The good times were already!”

The first asks, “Really? When?! When was it good?!”

The second answers, “Back then, when everyone thought things were really bad - it was actually really good!”


Oh, if only it was just a joke 🤦‍♀️


But that’s what we keep feeling...


These days, everyone is longing for the “good old” happy days which we enjoyed until a few short weeks ago.. 


And before that, everyone was longing for the “good old” Pre - covid era...


And before that, everyone was longing for the “good old” pre- Gimmel Tammuz days... and the “good old” pre- Chof Zayin Adar days...


No judgement chv! It’s only natural! 

It’s normal to be nostalgic for the past, the moment things get worse, and especially when things get a LOT worse...


Once upon a time, it was hard to understand how the Yidden could want to return to the days of their slavery and suffering in Egypt, every time they hit a new danger in the dessert, 

But now it makes sense! 

Looking back, they missed the days when they actually felt relatively “safe”, and when they could at least count on surviving, and on getting their daily portion of bread and water...


But at the same time, we are stronger than that 💪 


If we are going to pray, let’s not waste our power of prayer on asking for the return of the “good old” days - which we actually didn’t experience as all that “great” in real time!


If we are going to “miss”, let’s not be so small - minded to miss the days when we were “slaves in Egypt”, albeit in a lighter form than today. 


If we are going to have nostalgia, let’s not have nostalgia for the past, and remember it with rose coloured glasses... 

Instead, let’s have nostalgia for the FUTURE! 


Because if the Rebbe cried over the Golus in the “best” of days, then those days were not actually the best... 


BH, The good times are YET to come! 


We are not looking back at Egypt! We have no desire to return there! 

We are looking in ONE direction only, and that’s - FORWARD! 

Onto the Promised Land - with Moshiach at our lead! 🙏


Day 11/30 - *“It came to pass on the eighth day…”*

 It doesn’t make sense!


The Rebbe said that we already finished Avodas Habirurim - the service of elevating all the sparks.

That we already did Teshuva. 

That chassidus is already spread out everywhere!

That we already had more than enough mesiras nefesh. 

That we already finished building the 3rd Beis Hamikdash above!

That the entire world is ready for Moshiach!


So what are we missing?


How can it be that we have still not succeeded in fulfilling the mission of our generation, to bring the essence of the Shechina down to earth, in a completely revealed and tangible way?! Where is the Shechina?! Why hasn’t it descended? Why won’t Hashem enter? What is He waiting for?!


If we are truly done, if we have TRULY done enough, then why can’t we see the results?! It doesn’t feel fair! 


But looking back, we see that the same exact thing happened with Hashem’s first mishkan. 


The Yidden did everything they were told to do!

They donated everything that was needed to build Hashem’s home, and even MORE than was needed.

They built every detail of the mishkan perfectly, exactly according to Hashem’s instructions.

They even completed the shivas yimei hamiluim, the seven days of consecration.


Yet they still saw NOTHING! 

Hashem’s shechina did not enter their mishkan! 


The Yidden felt crushed. They felt ashamed. They felt upset, and disappointed! 

They complained to Moshe Rabbeinu that all of their efforts were worthless. All their hard work did not accomplish the goal! The Holy fire of Hashem would not descend to consume their sacrifices. 


For that it seems they needed 3 things:


  1. The energy of the 8th day - Since 8 is the number ABOVE nature, the opportune time for the fusion of Hashem’s Transcendent Presence, within the 7 - the natural order of the world. 


  1. They needed Moshe’s blessing of

 “ויהי נועם ה’ אלוקינו עלינו ומעשה ידינו כונננה עלינו ומעשה ידינו כוננהו” - 

That Hashem’s presence should rest in the work of their hands - that Hashem should crown all their efforts with grace and success.


  1. They needed specifically the service of Aharaon HaKohen - whose path to bringing people closer was unconditional love, kindness, warmth, and peace! 


So perhaps that’s what we too need right now,


  1. If each decade is like a day, then the 5780s are the 8th day, and so the timing is already right! The Shechina will descend today! 


  1. We need to daven for the fulfilment of Moshe’s blessing - That Hashem’s presence should rest in the work of our hands, that He should crown our efforts with grace and success, and finally reveal His Essential Shechina in this world! 


  1. Just like Moshe Rabbeinu couldn’t be the one to bring the Shechina down, the Rebbe can’t be the one to bring the Shechina down. It needs to come from Aharon, from the people - through us being students of Aharon and increasing in our unconditional love and peace with every single Jew!!


May we immediately complete the mission that our 7th generation was charged with, as our eyes witness the return of the Ikar Shechina to this earth!