My first thought when I woke up this morning was,
“Oh no, yesterday was only day 2 and I already missed my new hachlata!”
I had wanted to give the Rebbe a birthday gift of a daily Moshiach thought until 11 Nissan, and I even announced it out loud. And it’s not that I forgot about it! It’s just that life is so busy and so it got pushed off to the last thing at night… and I fell asleep in the middle.
For a minute I thought about maybe giving up - it’s just not practical, I don’t have time for it…
But then I reminded myself that it IS totally possible if I only choose to make it my priority, and I even have clear proof -
***
At the Kinus Hashluchos this year, Racheli Muchnik announced that she doesn’t turn on her phone in the morning until after she finishes Davening and Chitas, and on the spot, I decided to try to do the same.
I’m happy to share that today is Day 50 in a row that I davenned (a mini) shacharis and said full chitas and family tehillim! It’s a huge record for me because until 50 days ago.. I honestly hardly ever ended up davening or saying Chitas. It was something that I kept procrastinating or forgetting… until the end of the day when it was already too late or I was already too tired..
Because when it wasn’t the FIRST thing in my day.. it pretty much always ended up being the last - which means it ended up not “being” at all.
Of course it took a lot of self control, especially in the beginning, but thanks to my commitment, and to Racheli’s support, it was much easier than I imagined!
But when I reached the 30 day mark, I had mixed feelings.
On the one hand I was really impressed with myself that I actually kept to a hachlata for so long! And I was happy that that day I actually felt emotion during my mini davening and enjoyed it, and also that I learned the Tanya that day, instead of just quickly reading it...
On the other hand, I doubted if it was really important enough? If it was really worth my time? I was using up the little window that I had in the morning for something that doesn’t help anyone else but myself.
It just didn’t feel very productive, and I wondered if it’s really worth continuing?
Later that day I had a chavrusa with a local Shlucha, and the first thing that she told me as soon as she came on the zoom was that “She got a letter from the Rebbe that week that she must show me, since she feels it’s connected to me also.”
The letter was an answer to a bachur who wrote to the Rebbe that because he is very busy with his learning, he doesn’t have time for the daily Chitas that the Rebbe requested, except for Chumash with Rashi. He asked the Rebbe for permission to “free” him from his obligation of saying the daily Tehillim & Tanya.
The Rebbe replied that he was surprised by the question! Because learning Chitas is not for the benefit of anyone else, (meaning, not for the Rebbe’s sake,) but for the bachur’s OWN benefit, just like with all matters of Torah and Mitzvos. And so by the Rebbe “freeing” him of his obligation to say Chitas, he would also be “freeing” him from all the good results that the Chitas brings!
And about his argument that “he doesn’t have time”, the Rebbe explained that the use of time, just like everything else, depends on success and help from Above! As we see clearly - how sometimes the learning goes really quickly and easily, and other times it takes very intense efforts and a huge amount of time, to grasp the concept that one is trying to learn, and even then, he STILL doesn’t understand it clearly enough… even though we are talking about the SAME person, just at different times.
The Rebbe concluded by saying, that the Segulah of every mitzvah, and the Shiurim of Chitas are included in this, will lead to many more mitzvos, meaning, it will make it easier for the person to fulfil other mitzvos, as well as make it easier for him to understand the ideas he is trying to learn…
I was so shocked and touched about how the Rebbe, our faithful shepherd, found a way to answer my inner doubts that I was having that day! And it goes without saying that I was able to continue keeping my hachlata with the assurance that I am definitely not wasting my time! That on the contrary, my davening and Chitas are actually saving me time - by bringing me more “success in time” throughout the rest of the day!
***
I realised that the same truth applies to learning and sharing ideas on Moshiach and Geulah! 1) It needs to be the FIRST thing in my day, NOT the last!
2) I don't need to worry about not having “time” to focus on Moshiach and Geulah, because time is in Hashem’s hands and this will bezH only bring me more success in time.
And this is what the Rebbe taught us in the sicha of Parshas Tzav, Mem Hey, Ois 22 - that Moshiach is the FIRST thing that we need to share with others, not the last!
“... When we speak with another, the FIRST thinking that we need to do is cry out “Moshiach now!”
“Seemingly, someone might argue that when we want to influence another, we need to act like a gentleman! To first say “Hi, how are you? How are you feeling? How do you do? And then to ask about his wife and his kids, and his work - what he did and what he is planning to do… and then to start speaking with him about Judaism, starting with the Aleph Beis of Yiddishkeit… until finally he gets to the topic of the ‘End of Days”.. And that Moshiach is about to come…
“He argues that this is the way of the Baal Shem Tov, who first asked people how they are, so that they can say, ‘Baruch Hashem’, and only after did he start talking with them about Judaism.
“But to begin by screaming ‘Moshiach Now!’ is so strange! “The words of the wise are heard when they are pleasant.’ When they are calm and strategic.. So what impression with another have to the cry of Moshiach now?!
“But the truth is that IT’S EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE!
“When a completely normal person, dressed normally, speaking normally, suddenly starts screaming “Moshiach now!” - davka this behavior is what influences and arouses the inner essence of the other, because the truth is that his soul ALSO cries out Moshiach now!”
From the inner essence of the Neshama, the desire and craving of every Jew is for the true and complete Geulah, for ‘Moshiach Now”! We just need to remove the outer dirty shell that is covering this up.
“When you approach him with proper ‘etiquette’, you don't even succeed in removing the dirt and mud that is covering his external shell. On the other hand, when you approach him and scream out ‘Moshiach now! Listen up, Jews need to have Moshiach!” - This is the way to remove the external covering, and reveal the essence of his soul!
***
So no, there is no such thing as me not having the ‘time” to learn about, or speak about, or write about, Moshiach! Because Moshiach must always be our FIRST and TOP priority, and beezrat Hashem, the ONLY good reason to not continue my Hachlata will be because Moshiach already showed up and there will be no need for it anymore!
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