After my last Moshiach thought about daring to believe that Moshiach is REALLY about to come… I was reminded of my labors and the differences between them…
By my 4th labor, It was my first time doing hypnobirthing, and because of that, it was extra confusing for me. I wasn’t experiencing any pain, and so I wasn’t sure if it was real labor or not?
I really didn’t want to wake up my doula for nothing! She was just doing me a big last minute favor to come along with me, and I would feel so uncomfortable if it turned out to just be practice!
And even if it was real labor, maybe I could wait a few more hours until morning, and this way she could have strength for the big day ahead? I knew she’s the type that really needs her sleep… and it would be hard for her kids too. How could I know how much more time I had left?
I also didn’t want to wake up my husband yet for the same reason…
So thanks to the time difference, I called my mother in New York instead, to ask her what she thinks, and of course she wisely told me that, yes! I should definitely wake up my doula!! Because even if it doesn’t turn out to be “real” this time, and even if it will take a long time until my actual birth - it’s better to be safe than sorry!! Better to wake up the doula an extra time, than to end up giving birth without a doula at all…
And not just for me - even she would feel bad about it, and ask why I didn’t tell her?!
So I did wake up my doula, and again felt uncomfortable when she started asking me if I’m sure it’s real? And if I’m sure it’s close? Because how could I be sure?!
It took strength to tell her that YES, even though I feel great, I do feel that it’s very close… and I didn’t regret it because B”H I gave birth soon after!
But what if there was a different ending?
So what? It wouldn’t matter!
For example, when my sister called me from New York with the same exact question of whether to wake up her doula in middle of the night… I also told her yes! And turned out that she went to the hospital with her doula for “nothing” and was sent right back home…
But it’s ok! It wasn’t foolish! It could have been real… and she still did the right thing!
That was NOT the “worst case” scenario!
The “worst case” was what happened by my 5th labor, when I was feeling less confident that I was really close, and because of that - I ended up giving birth completely on my own, which I really regret because it turned out to be so difficult!
I had resolved that next time - I would not feel bad for “disturbing” or “inconveniencing” anyone else! Not my husband, not my doula, and not my babysitter…
*Because if there’s enough of a reason for ME to go to the hospital, then there’s enough of a reason for THEM to go as well!* They don't either want to miss the birth!
And the same is true with Moshiach!
There is no need to keep Moshiach’s coming a secret!
There is no need to feel nervous that we might come home empty handed!
And if we did come home “empty handed” last time, there is still no reason to feel embarrassed about it! We did not lose our credibility! We did not do anything wrong!
אחכה לו בכל יום שיבוא
And we could confidently wake them up AGAIN this time… because no Jew wants to miss this birth! No Jew wants to be left behind!
Especially since it is not “ours” any more than it is theirs!
We can proudly shout it from the rooftops!
Because it’s more likely than ever, that THIS time, it’s the real deal!
And we don’t want to have to deal with anyone complaining of why we kept them in the dark!
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